I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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