You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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