guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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