i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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