i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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