Christians are straight up FREAKS
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
