doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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