I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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