WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
