my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
