it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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