I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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