A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
