guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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