I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
