she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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