Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
