he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
