Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
