smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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