You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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