Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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