i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
