I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We got so high we made milksteak
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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