In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
