Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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