my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
