Where is the hickey?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My life is pants optional.
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