I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
