Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
