dude i'm inner monologue high
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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