I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
