The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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