You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
