so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
