I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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