Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
