Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
