Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
