dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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