My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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