This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
