so explain again why im purple
no
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
