Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
