Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
