That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
