I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
