do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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