So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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