I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
