I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
