Quick, to the slutcave!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i've created a new STD.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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