you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
