Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
