turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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