Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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