My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
